Stress, Shingles and Caring for the Mother

Last winter I was diagnosed with Shingles (a reactivation of the Herpes Zoster virus, Varicella Zoster). At first I dismissed the odd tingling followed by red, wildly itchy red patches on my side and back as an allergic reaction. Caring for my active toddler distracted me into a sort of denial about my increasingly uncomfortable and itchy state. It wasn't until my husband came home from work one night and I showed him the spreading rash on the left side of my abdomen and back that he said "I wonder if it's scabies?" SCABIES? I said. He said, "You know, what you get after you've already had chickenpox." "Shingles!" And it was like a light went on in my brain and I dashed to the computer to type shingles into google. I found pictures and a description that matched my symptoms perfectly. Then the panic set in. My son's chickenpox vaccination had for one reason or another been put off for months and now here I was, theoretically contagious to my baby. I called the pediatrician and made an appointment for my son's varicella vaccination in the morning. I planned on showing up at my Dr.'s office as soon as they opened to confirm my condition.

On the subway to my Dr. appointment the train was packed and I was uncomfortable, cold and crushed by other passengers who had no idea about my condition. Clearly it wasn't the end of the world, but all I could think about was why did I get shingles? It wasn't as if I was overly stressed. I wasn't working at an office or commuting to work everyday anymore. I didn't have a boss making unreasonable demands and I wasn't working overtime. I was staying at home, taking care of a toddler, on-call 24 hours a day! One who was still waking up several times at night, sometimes didn't take naps, threw tantrums, didn't eat what I fed him and generally got into as much trouble as a baby that could now go out and touch and experience all of the things it couldn't for so many months now could. Stressed? Not me. It was so easy to get caught up in the everyday care of my child that I forgot about one of the most important aspects of mothering: taking care of the mother.

My Dr. confirmed in about thirty seconds that indeed I did have shingles and prescribed an anti-viral drug that I was able to take while still nursing which was supposed to help control the outbreak and reduce the pain that also comes when the rash begins to heal. She explained that anyone who has gotten chickenpox (Varicella) can become susceptible to getting shingles. The virus lies dormant in the sensory nerves next to your spinal cord and during times where the body is under stress or lowered immunity it travels down the sensory nerves that extend to your skin, and a painful rash develops. The main difference between chicken pox and shingles is that shingles generally erupts in a band on one side of the body, rather than all over your body. She also said though the disease does mainly strike the elderly or those with compromised immune systems, she has seen shingles surprisingly in more and more younger patients, especially women and mothers who are otherwise healthy. I let her know about my concern for my child who had not gotten his chickenpox vaccine yet and she said the chances were extremely slim that he would catch the chickenpox from contact with me. She also reminded me that I was not contagious to anyone who had already gotten chicken pox or received the vaccine.

According to Janki Chopra, associated with the Delhi center of the Vedanta Institute: "Stress is an agitated mind, a state that's caused by unfulfilled desire. Stress has nothing to do with an external situation."

Though I kept telling myself I wasn't stressed, getting Shingles reminded me of how intertwined the body and mind are, and that I obviously needed a break. Though I wasn't under the same stress as a full time job working away from home, I was still under a barrage of other daily stresses, including my toddler who was becoming increasingly more demanding of all of my resources. It was also the daily "background noise" in my head-worry about money, the planning details of going back to work and my anger with the constant disappointing quest in finding a better housing situation for our family that all together were slowly eroding my overall outlook and dreams for the future. Though there was no real "outside" stress, I was putting enough pressure on myself, combined with the exhaustion of never getting an uninterrupted night's sleep that eventually wore down my immunity. My body was sending me a message whether I wanted to hear it or not. I was forced, (despite my desire to say I was fine) to ask my husband to take some time off from work so I could catch up on sleep. I also recruited the help of my mother a few days a week to help with childcare and housekeeping. I also decided it was time to call my therapist and make an appointment. I remembered how calming daily walks in the summer had been so despite warmer weather still months away, I decided it was still important to get out of the house each day and so we did, bundled up and ready to bear all weather.

Though every body has a breaking point before illness, it may be under pressures that are otherwise thought of as inert that can lead to bigger problems later on. Slowing down mentally, physically and asking for the help I needed recharged my body mind and spirit.

By Stephanie Lazzara on September 26, 2007 1:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)